live in the moment

live the fabulous life

Stacey D. Guthrie-Aldinger, Ed.S., LPC-S, RPT, NCC, NCSC

The Fabulous Chronicles

I have been a school counselor for 19 years and I picked up some handy ideas along the way.  I would like to share them with you.

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Bucket Filler

Posted on September 11, 2017 at 10:35 AM Comments comments (0)

Being a Bucket Filler at Olive Branch Elementary School

I love this simple concept and teaching it to the students. Every one has a bucket and everybody's bucket holds good thoughts and feelings.


Each time you smile at someone or greet them, you are filling their bucket.  When you give a compliment or show that you care about someone, you are filling their bucket. When you fill their bucket, Guess What???? Your bucket gets full too because it feels good to do nice things for other people.

I challenge all who read this to think about ways you can be a bucket filler.  


Lots of Kids Are Literal

Posted on September 30, 2016 at 11:15 AM Comments comments (0)

I can't tell you how many funny stories I have come across when working with little kiddos.  

Yesterday I handled a situation that could have ended in parents being called and definitely would become a disaster!!!!!

At the luch table, the little girl told the little boy, "I like you."  He told her that she was mean and then she cried.

He had to move his clip for being mean to her.  I talked with them before the teacher called the parents and this is what transpired.

The girl was playing "lava girl", the boy was "superman" and another boy was "batman".  The girl said i could take batman's brain and superman's organs and make a new super hero.  

Well, if you forgot you were playing make believe, I guess taking out your "guts" kind of sounds mean.  

The girl couldn't figure out why he said that.  She told the teacher she liked him.   The teacher assumes she likes being his friend and thought that was so thoughtful and the boy was not being very nice about it.  

Miscommunication all around - creative/dramatic play, literal thinking, and teacher understanding = a funny moment for me.


De - Escalation of children and youth

Posted on September 20, 2016 at 9:15 AM Comments comments (0)

 http://www.evergreenyfs.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/De-escalation-curriculum.pdf


Check out this website for great strategies that work in de escalating children before they become out of control.

Saying I am Sorry

Posted on August 31, 2016 at 8:55 AM Comments comments (0)

Why is it so hard for kids to say I am sorry?

 

I frequently hear kids saying, "but I didn't mean to do it" or "but it was an accident". Often times they will become obstinate and adults often feel as if they are forcing an apology. In working with kids, I wanted to address this issue since it happens so frequently and without an "I'm Sorry" they don't learn empathy and forgiveness.

 

I ask the kids why they can't say I am sorry or what is making it so hard to say. Usually I get a shoulder shrug or an I don't know. Well anyone that knows me, knows that I rarely stop at that answer. I begin to process the situation that happened going step by step acknowledging actions and feelings of everyone involved.

 

I started asking them if they were afraid they were going to get in trouble and the response is an overwhelming yes. They also do not like the feeling of being thought of as a "bad" person. They may also feel that they are disappointing the grown up. I ask kids if they like the other person and usually I get a yes.

 

I ask if they wanted the other person to get hurt and the answer is no. I realized that the focus of the "I am sorry" is on the person saying it and the action that happened when truly the focus should be on the person receiving the apology.

 

I give an example to illustrate what I mean. My friend lost her phone when we were walking. I try to help her find it and I say, "I am sorry that your phone is lost." Does this mean I am in trouble? No.

 

Saying I am sorry does not always mean I am guilty of something. Saying I am sorry shows that you care about the other person. We care about their feelings, their well being, and their belongings.

 

When the focus is put onto the other person, the ability to say I am sorry is much easier. This is when a person (child or adult) learns what empathy and forgiveness truly is. When we embrace empathy and forgiveness, we grow in our ability to have healthy happy relationships.

 

This is the best part of what I do each day. I absolutely love helping others stretch their minds to discover different possibilities.


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